The Perils of Blogging

I did something quite foolish yesterday, just 12 hours after posting my first real blog in six months. I bought a latte at Cafe Allegro on 15th, which (last time I checked) is a favorite hangout and study zone of an ex. And here's the kicker...

...I did it mainly so that I could write about it here. Ewww.

Yes, I was half hoping to see her there. Why? I have nothing to say to her, of course, and there's certainly no way the hope was reciprocated. Because - trite and true - despite the frantic efforts of several experts, I remain crazy. I guess it's this thing I have about important people I haven't seen in awhile. After I spend several months structuring my day around one individual - thinking about her all the time, telling secrets, sharing a bed and all that - I like to have visual confirmation that she's alive from time to time. This is not a "thing" that she shares. That was made very clear to me early on.

She wasn't there, or at least near the counter where I bought my coffee. So I built up the nerve to check her LiveJournal for the first time since mid-April. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that come December she's doing one of the most romantic things in the history of people who are not movie characters. I am, however, troubled by one aspect of this romantic adventure (and naturally that troubles me).

It sounds like she's going to be alone, across the Atlantic, on her birthday and Christmas. That's a tough swallow.

Maybe it's just another thing I have.

Today's Musical Insight:

"With the empty sand just flowing through our empty skin, we're searching for what we were promised, reaching for the cold and rain and we never let go..."

Stravstoytiya! (Or, The Extremely Rough Phonetic Translation Of The Russian Word For 'Hello!' From Cyrillic to Latin)

I’ve never actually read Through the Looking Glass, so my apologies to those purists among you who are wondering why the title of my blog makes no literary or philosophical sense (or does it? I really have no clue). I chose it as a self-satirical kind of ploy, a way of being self-deprecating and subtly condescending at the same time. Despite our professed poverty and our daily encounters with the "Ave-rats" and the good fellow that sells Real Change in front of Safeway, we ultimately confine ourselves to our white-washed universe of high-speed internet and parlor socialism. It's okay to laugh at it.

From now on this will be the repository of my idle thoughts because I can’t stand to let them be idle. Idle hands entice the devil; idle thoughts invite him in for lunch and a beer. And the devil is like Kramer or a stray cat – feed him and he’ll never leave.

Wasn’t that beautiful?

More and more, my life this quarter is revolving around my Congressional simulation class. I was happenstanced into a committee chairmanship and now I can't stop checking the website. This feels an awful lot like that four months or so when I was obsessed with following the Dean campaign - reading the newspaper in class and occasionally slipping away to the library computers to check out the latest in the fundraising and endorsement horse race. Ah! but this time I don't have to put up with Kjell's daily reminder that it doesn't matter how much I know, I can't exert any control over the Iowa caucuses or the New Hampshire primaries. Welllllll, the the cart is hitched to the other donkey now, isn't it? And he favored Kucinich…

I also remember how deflated I was when Kerry and Edwards smashed little Howard in Iowa. Not looking forward to that next quarter. Solution to That Problem: Get a real job. Get a girlfriend. Get a life. Oh, I suppose that is a good idea.

In related news, Nevada changed its political calendar and now its presidential caucuses are right smack between Iowa and New Hampshire. Both states are quite pissed that they won't be getting the spotlight and sweet candidate promises. My Prediction: Disaster in Reno and Vegas. It takes a certain level of organization and competence to run a decisive caucus that the whole country will be watching. Unless Hillary and McCain are the super-clear winners - that is, if the votes are actually going to have to be counted - this isn't going to be fun to see.

Today's Musical Insight:

"They say that the road ain't no place to start a family..."