An Open Letter To You Target Bastards

“Dear Target and Similar Major Retail Shopping Centers,

Fuck you.

There is no need to start putting up the Valentine’s Day displays at so early a date. This is not a major shopping holiday on the order of Christmas, in which I’ll be buying your shit for everyone I know. I don’t need five weeks to shop for your cheesy chocolates and poorly-written mass produced love letters.

Furthermore, those of us who are not likely to have a valentine by February 14 take exception to your reminding us of it at every bloody opportunity. You manage to penetrate every free crevice of urban space with your advertisements, which is a price I’m willing to pay to live in such a shamelessly decadent consumer culture. I do not, however, appreciate that the subtly condescending, exclusionary content of that advertising – ‘Everyone’s going to have a wonderful Valentine’s Day! If you have someone who cares about you, that is.’

I venture to suggest that many of us will not enjoy such a privilege.

Respectfully,

Christopher Aaron Kaasa”

Yes, I’m not excited for this Valentine’s Day season. I knew that I wouldn’t be, because there’s very little chance of this year measuring up to last year. THE SCENE: A crisp night, immediately following a handsome dinner at a dimly lit romantic restaurant. We walk back to the bus stop, pausing to dance in full view of the Seattle skyline.

“You know, Chris Kaasa, I think you’re exactly what I need right now.”
“You know, I’m pretty sure you’re exactly what I need too.”
“Something different?”
“No. Something Lauren.”

Punctuated by an adventure in the church ravine, in which I learned my Valentine was much more of a man that I was.

Maybe this website shouldn’t be posted on my Facebook. Bah, who cares?

Enough of this. Shut up, Kaasa. I need more mental discipline. Resolved: No more fretting about the past for the next seven days. Punishment: If I indulge in such fretting, no more Oreos. Ever again. Ever. (“But…”) EVER!

Besides, there’s still time, right?

Today’s Musical Insight (Chris’ Blog in a Nutshell Edition):

“What’s the point in all this screaming? No one’s listening anyway.”

PS – If you have managed to find your way here, rest assured: These are idle musings and nothing you have to worry about.